a sense of gone .

have you ever felt that you are not worthy of being a friend or finding a new friend ? in terms of everything. i know it sound silly but hey as humans, we do have doubts. or maybe i'm just feeling empty inside. how pathetic can it be. this what happen when you miss too much. i really feel that there's a big huge hole opening in my heart. omg, it doesn't feel good at all. any antidote for me? HELP. separation is hell. it feels there's a gap. huge one. i wonder what the others are busy with. but on the other hand, it feels goods that you don't have to face capycats or biatch. (laughing mode) i hope i get a job soon so i'll be busy to think. i believe this give me a sense of appreciation of everything even the atrocious ones. i still have an awful feeling. (laughing mode, again) i am so being ridiculous here. that's how i was created (: